On the Origin of Specious

I have long been of the belief that Darwin’s theory on natural selection can be adapted and applied to most situations. Before the Lamarckists protest this post is not dependent on your believing in, or even particularly understanding the concept. It does, however require somewhat the acceptance that, even if wrong, Darwin’s idea is a decent fit to the evidence as we currently understand it. Where I think it becomes a little unravelled is in relation to the development of the human race. Again I do not think I am being controversial by suggesting that a theory on natural selection fundamentally requires a degree of selection. I don’t think that the human race collectively can be described as being particularly selective when it comes to finding a mate. As an old woman somewhere probably likes to say “There is somebody for everybody”.

Now, stick with this, there is a tenuous connection to the 30th Year of Challenges coming up. But first, this news report came out last week. It is a staggering drop in profit and they are welcome to ascribe it to the credit crunch, rising oil prices or whatever but not only did it comes as no surprise to me but is actually something I was thinking about just a couple of weeks ago. I believe that this is a case of clothing natural selection in action.

And now time for the tenuous connection. After training, whether it is at the gym or swimming it is traditional for people to use changing rooms to change. During that time I tend to observe other people (is that taboo to admit? Time to confess that I am, in fact, a normal, slightly nosey, person). My attention gets particularly drawn to people who are using brands that, despite being household names, you very rarely see any more. Two weeks ago that brand was Levis. The jeans market is saturated and Levis is in danger of becoming a dinosaur. You can get jeans that are cheaper or better cut or more a la mode or just about anything you can name. Being a pair of jeans is no longer enough. Levis were the missing link but their success has resulted in a glut of more evolved competitors out competing them. Other brands that I have noticed in this category include Calvin Klein underwear – yes I even notice other men’s pants - and Lynx (although that is likely to have an alligatoresque niche thanks to an impressive advertising campaign snaring 16 year old boys making their first step in body odour regulation).

It’s not over yet though. Selection can make brands on the brink of extinction come back stronger. The Burberry check plague almost destroyed it but this selection created positive mutations and they came back stronger. Some however failed. Anyone want a bottle of Hai Karate or Brut? Maybe somebody, somewhere is currently recreating these on a distant island called Olfassic Park. And maybe someone will spill the bottle and it seeps into a drain causing an overpowering odour all over the island. [note to self: is it too late to write a screenplay as a challenge?]

Good luck Levis. I wish you well but don’t expect me to donate £2 a week to save your plight, it’s natural and natural is very fashionable these days.